i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize