Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
