Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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