I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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