the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
