I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
