So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
