Where are you?
In a non slutty way
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
