she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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