and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
