Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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