ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
