I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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