DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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