Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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