I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
