Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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