I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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