He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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