you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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