Me. At least after what I've been through.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
