careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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