is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
