last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
