Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
