A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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