I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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