remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize