problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
