Betty ford says i'm here all night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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