party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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