i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
