My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
