The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
