Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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