he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
