Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
