I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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