"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
