we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
