why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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