so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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