Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
