Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
