North Korea, Best Korea!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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