Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
