i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
