I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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