Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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