once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
