those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
