Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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