look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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