I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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