No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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