You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
