I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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