I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
