she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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